Okay, so first off I’m not exactly ‚new‘ to this, nor am I completely oblivious to what happens to you and your body when I do what I do or how much would be too much – I’ve been pretty okay at limiting myself, stopping before it gets too extreme, declining the offer for that last line when I’m already too fried to walk straight – that kinda stuff.
Still, this happened.
And for some reason, I feel the need to share.
I’ve been seeing a new guy recently and when I was staying over at his place, we managed to get our hands on some E’s. We bought 6 pills total, from searching around on the internet for a bit, I’m supposing that one had at least a little over 200mg.
Anyway, we take one half at first, things go how they usually go – I hadn’t done Mdma in over a year, so I was cautious about them at first and when they started working, I was actually surprised by how pleasant it was.
We dance around a bit, I braid his hair, we talk a lot – then, we decide to take the next half.
And yeah, the rest is kind of blurry.
We must have both taken at least two pills each, which wasn’t necessarily a lot for his standards, since he has kind of a more extreme past with that specific drug, but I on the other hand hadn’t taken Mdma in over a year and only done E’s once in my life.
So, as a 5’’3 girl that doesn’t even weigh a 100 pounds, over 400mg were, naturally, way too much.
I didn’t actually realize how badly I had fucked up until I started feeling nauseous, which I’m used to while on drugs (my stomach is kind of fucked) but not that far into it, since a few hours had already passed. I went to go to the bathroom a few times, never really managing to get anything out of my system that wasn’t just spit or air, so I tried to just ignore it and went back to having fun.
Since I was pretty fucked up, I have no idea when or how things exactly happened, I just know that the next thing I remember is wanting to get something from the kitchen, standing in front of the door, and absolutely losing my shit. I didn’t know where I was, my vision started to black out, my legs were feeling wobbly and it took me probably at least a whole minute of trying to regain consciousness to finally realize where I was, who I was, where the guy was and what I was even trying to do.
As I had recovered, I went back and decided not to tell the guy, since I didn’t want to make things hectic or cause any worries.
Looking back, I probably should have told him.
Anyway, I was fine for a while after that, then the nausea came back and I think I tried to go to the toilet to throw up – I couldn’t remember what had just happened just minutes afterwards so this is hard to describe – but that’s when I had the ‚mini-seizure‘.
I must have realized things weren’t okay when I had reached the toilet, so I turned around and attempted to go back to the living room – I only made it halfway though, collapsing in the corridor, my legs and arms cramping up and spasming. I honestly don’t know what happened, it was over as soon as it had started, the guy hovering over me and asking me what was wrong, if I was okay.
I went to the bathroom again afterwords, I think, and threw up what looked like the linings of my stomach, red shreds, but since I didn’t taste any blood, I’ve decided to believe that those were just contents of the juice I had drank.
We went to lie down shortly after that happened and the nausea was finally somewhat gone, now I was only left to have hot and cold flashes for the next few hours, until I could finally fall asleep.
As I said, I don’t really have a reason for posting this, other than wanting to get this story out to people who don’t know me and who won’t worry or panic if I do – I am aware that taking two pills was really fucking dumb, sadly, my drugged up brain didn’t share that mindset at the time.
I’m currently just trying to grasp how dangerous that situation really was, or how close I was to dying, if that makes any sense. Which sounds very dramatic, I’m aware.
Anyway, that’s about it, how have y’all been?