I’m fried

I’m fried. A year of heroic dosing any untested tab and two Molly ODs left me fried. I am the epitome of harm reduction rhetoric. Please, test your drugs, take moderate doses infrequently. Respect your mind and the chemicals. I’m slow, cross eyed, depressed, suicidal, retarted, fatigued, anxious, sleepless, and isolated. No one knows how to help. The doctors are just guessing. You think they know how to treat HPPD? They don’t. They don’t even have a clue. I know you hear it all the time, but the dangers are real. I still believe in safe usage, but I can’t even partake in that because safe doses of any drug give me a panic attack. I want my life back. I want ME back. I don’t know who I am anymore and neither dose my family. My personality is different. It’s changed. I still love everyone but who can love someone they didn’t grow up with? I’m a stranger to my family. Preserve what God gave you.

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